Marks Blog

Weight: 333.8 lbs ( 151.4 kg) BMI: 42.9 Waist: 55 in (139.7 cm) WtHr: 74.3% Breakfast: Bologna Sandwiches Snack: Kroger Cheddar Sour Cream Chips Lunch: Bologna Sandwich Cheesy Ramen Dinner: Pork Steak Mac and Cheese Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Monster, Sober Month 9 (Day 296) Pleasantly surprised by the drop on the scale this morning. I had thought that the scale was glitching again, but it gave a consistent number each time I stepped on it. I slept in considerably later than I normally do. It is strange for me to sleep all of the way until 10:30. I'm not sure why I decided to have the sandwiches for breakfast this morning. I came to the justification that it was so late in the morning it really counted as an early lunch. But then I felt weird that I was trying to justify a meal when I woke up. Today was another day where I sat around thinking to myself that I really needed to do something. But I couldn't think of anything to do. I did run to th...

Weight: 332.8 lbs ( 150.9 kg) BMI: 42.7 Waist: 54 in (137.2 cm) WtHr: 73% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Snack: Pringles Ranch Chips Lunch: Bologna Sandwiches Pringles Sour Cream onion Chips Snack: Cheesy Ramen Dinner: Tuna Helper Cheesy Noodle Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Monster, Sober Month 9 (Day 291) Not a very productive day today. I'm getting the feeling that at the end of this week I'm going to be disappointed that I didn't do anything. This is the last week of vacation that I have for the year, and I'm pretty sure that I'm just going to be counting down the days until it's done. I started cleaning the kitchen and I thought that it'd be good to spend the week doing a deep clean of the apartment. But then I sat down at the computer and didn't do much else. Perhaps I'll get to the cleaning tomorrow. The area around my desk really needs to be cleaned up. I do have to say that cleaning is a cumulative action. Getting star...

Weight: 329.4 lbs ( 149.4 kg) BMI: 42.3 Waist: 54 in (137.2 cm) WtHr: 73% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs   Lunch: Bologna Sandwiches Pringles Salt and Vinegar Chips Dinner: Loaded Mac and Cheese Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Monster, Sugar Free Red Bull Sober Month 9 (Day 290) I really need to start taking advantage of my mornings. I just keep sitting around counting down how much time I have until I have to go to work and not much else. Just as I was starting to cook breakfast the maintenance guy for the condo complex startled me as just as I turned on the stove I heard a banging on the door and a frantic ringing of the doorbell. I wasn't sure what was going on and I recognized the guy. He asked if the red car in the parking lot was mine. I was a bit nervous for the asking. He asked me if I had any other cars. I was getting scared why he was asking about my car. Be he just said that he was repainting the lines and numbers on the parking lot for the building. ...

Weight: 328.4 lbs ( 148.9 kg) BMI: 42.2 Waist: 53.5 in (135.9 cm) WtHr: 72.3% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs   Lunch: Bologna Sandwiches Pringles Cheddar Sour Cream Chips Dinner: Chuck Roast with mushroom gravy Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Monster, Sugar Free Red Bull Sober Month 9 (Day 289) I was surprised to see the lower number on the scale this morning. I was thinking that the scale was glitching again. But it gave a consistent number over the several times I stepped on it. I didn't do much before work again today. I've just been having a hard time gauging the passage of time. I was sitting here at the computer playing with the spending spreadsheet and weigh in spreadsheets thinking, “oh, it's coming up on 10:30 I should probably get ready for work. OH CRAP IT'S 10:30 I NEED TO GET READY FOR WORK!” The rent check still hasn't gone through. But at least it's now in a time that I have the funds for it to go through. I only worked a hal...

Weight: 329.0 lbs ( 149.2 kg) BMI: 42.2 Waist: 54.5 in (138.4 cm) WtHr: 73.6% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs   Lunch: Bologna Sandwiches, Pringles Pizza Chips Dinner: Hormel Pork Loin Lemon Garlic Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Monster, Sober Month 9 (Day 288) Woke up in a mood today. It's just that I'm waking up surviving, going back to bed, and then waking up the next day. Again, I'm not tired of surviving, it's just wearying that that's all I'm doing. I can't think of anything that I've made progress on this year. Well, I have lost 17.7 lbs (8 kg) over the year. But I just haven't done much this year. The problem with that thought it is kind of self replicating (not the right term, but I can't think of the right one) I get frustrated because I haven't done anything, and when I try to think of something to do I just think that I haven't done anything. I did try to come up with an idea of a video to work on, and a kid a...

Weight: 348 lbs ( 157.9 kg) BMI: 44.7 Waist: 58 in (147.3 cm) WtHr: 78.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Bologna Sandwich, Cheddar Sour Cream Chips Dinner: Gambinos Pizza Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sooter's Red Bull Insert(?) Sober Week 1 (Day 11) YMCA: X Another night when I had a hard time falling asleep. Not feeling stressed or anxious or anything. Just brain wasn't tired. The rest of me was dragging. But brain was doing back flips and jumping jacks Maybe why I had a weird dream. I don't usually have dreams, but when I do they're weird AF. I never have nightmares. I never wake up scared, I just wake up confused. In the dream I was stuck at a bar on the other side of town before dawn without a ride. In the bar there was one of those old soda machines where you put in money and open the door to get your coke. I got my coke, but the guy after me smashed the machine open and complained that he hurt his hand and was going to sue. I was wanting to leave ...