Marks Blog

Weight: 335.2 lbs (152 kg) BMI: 42.9 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Johnsonville Jalapeno Cheddar Smoked Sausages Dinner: Rib Eye Steak Drinks: Couple Cups of Coffee Black,Several cans of Seltzer water of various flavors, Sugar Free Rockstar Energy Silver Weeks Sober 3 (Day 27) Stepdad looked at the car and it was the water pump that had went out. I do admit that he scared the hell out of me when he said that he was going to “Call a wrecker” after he determined that the problem was the water pump. He said that he put some antifreeze in and it just poured right out so he called a wrecker. I'm pretty sure that if I was linked up to an EKG it would have been writing in cursive. But he reassured me that the tow truck was just going to take it to my Granduncle's place for him to work on because it would be bad to drive it any more than absolutely necessary. Sounds like it's going to be an easy fix and it'll be done by the time I get

Weight: 334.4 lbs (151.7 kg) BMI: 42.9 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Beef Hot Dogs Dinner: Rib eye steak with garlic butter Drinks: Cup of Coffee Black with 1/4 tsp salt, a couple cans of Seltzer water of various flavors, 1500ml water Weeks Sober 3 (Day 26)      When I got up this morning my feet didn't hurt as much as they've had previously. I'm not sure if that is a sign of progress or not, but it is nice to stand up and not feel like the bottom of my feet are being Tased while being on fire. Legs were still a bit stiff and I had a pain in the back of my head but those went away as I got up and moving around.      I put a quarter teaspoon of salt into the coffee this morning because the entire teaspoon of salt that I had put in that cup was a bit too much.      I had decided to download the app that the doctor suggested to install to tack the eating habits. The frustrating thing is that I am planning on doing my version of “Me

Weight: 336.8 lbs ( 152.8 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 55.5 in (141 cm) WtHr: 75% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Deconstructed Pizza Casserole Dinner: Slow Cooked Chuck Roast with Mushroom Gravy Drinks: Quite a few cans of Seltzer water of various flavors Weeks Sober 3 (Day 24) I didn't do much before the Doctor's appointment. I was kind of afraid of eating too much or drinking any coffee because of the effect that the food would have on the scale, or the caffeine in the coffee on the blood pressure. These factors are why I'd prefer to have appointments and meetings in the morning if I could. Not that I have had a whole lot of doctors appointments, but even when I work later in the afternoon, I spend the entire day counting down how much time I have until I have to go into work or that meeting. The bacon I had for breakfast was the bacon that Stepdad was kind enough to donate to me the other day. When he gave it to me he said that it wasn't very good quality, I thought he

Weight: 334.6 lbs ( 151.8 kg) BMI: 43.0 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Egg Stuff Lunch: Beef Hot Dogs Dinner: Pork Steak Drinks: Couple cups of coffee with a teaspoon of salt and a splash of cream, Quite a few cans of Seltzer water of various flavors Weeks Sober 3 (Day 23) Not a very productive day today. I am using the last of the Paid Time Off that I have for the year. So I'll have four days off instead of two and when I got up this morning my computer updated the video driver and I thought it'd play games a bit better (it's been looking a bit rough lately) but what game did I play to see if my computer is playing games well? Minecraft. Not the game that pushes the computer the most. I was just going to start it up for a bit, but I kind of got pulled in. I just kind of looked up and it was close to 10 hours later. I really didn't even do anything. I really just flattened out an area to start a farm and the wall to go around it. I did explore a b

Weight: 331.2 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 42.5 Waist: 56.5 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Johnsonville Jalapeno Cheddar Smoked Sausages Lunch: Low Carb Goulash Dinner: Center Cut Pork Chops pan seared in butter Drinks: 2x Sugar Free Rockstar, Kroger Energy Shot, Kroger Seltzer Water Cranberry Lime Weeks Sober 2 (Day 21) Didn't wake up in time to get a proper breakfast or any coffee. When I did get up the ankles were really angry at me. The shoestring on my newer shoes had broke a week or so ago so I've been wearing an older pair and I think that's starting to have an effect. I'm going to pick up a new pair of strings on my way home from work tonight. But as for breakfast I was able to get up early enough to run into work and have some Johnsonville Sausages and some Sugar Free Rockstar Energy. I did have to clock in a minute or two late to finish eating, but I don't have a job where I can get "hangry" It is interesting that I felt more energized by the can

Weight: 335.8 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 43.1 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili Turkey Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, Kroger Seltzer Water Cranberry Lime Weeks Sober 2 (Day 20) I did a bit of re-tweaking to the 2023 and 2024 weight loss tracking spreadsheets before work. For the 2023 spreadsheet I had the wrong number for the BMI goal. It was only off by 2.3 so not a big change and for the 2024 Spreadsheet I was going to change the Waist to Height Ratio tracking to Waist to Hip Ratio, but I've been doing Waist to Height Ratio for so long I think changing what WtHR means would just cause confusion. It's kind of unfortunate that both Height and Hip both start with the letter “H” otherwise it wouldn't be a big deal. Oh well, that just changes a thing that I was going to change back to the thing that I was already doing. And I'm very grateful for the “Find/Replace” tool on Open Office it

Weight: 338.4 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Stroganoff Casserole Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, Kroger Seltzer Water Cranberry Lime Weeks Sober 2 (Day 19) Last night the meditation was kind of strange. I was able to meditate without falling asleep just fine, and I did feel calm after the breathing session, but the “Stress” tracker on my watch said that the level of stress that I was experiencing had gone up instead of down like in previous sessions. I did fall asleep quite easily last night. Strangely the app said that I didn't get to sleep until 2:30 this morning, even though I went to bed closer to midnight. That first doctors appointment when the doctor asked me how well I usually sleep I asked him how much he trusted smartwatches to track sleep, and he seemed to think that they are pretty accurate. Bit of a hard time getting going this morning.

Weight: 338.8 lbs (153.7 kg) BMI: 43.5 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Taco Salad Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, Rockstar Pure Zero Silver Ice, Kroger Seltzer Water Watermelon, Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober 2 (Day 18) I guess that Queso Soup is bad for weight loss lol, I shouldn't worry about a daily fluctuation, but being up by four pounds in a single day is unfortunate. But considering that the waist hasn't gone up I'm just assuming that I'm just sitting on the food I ate yesterday (Tuesday). I got an email that showed the data of Yesterday's DXA scan. I got to say I DO NOT like the green blob of me laying there. I do have to say that I was surprised of the amount of fat that is in my legs. I knew that I had a serious gut that I had to work on, but I has always assumed that my legs were all muscle as I walk around all day almost every day. And my thighs have always been

Weight: 334.6 lbs (151.8 kg) BMI: 43 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Queso Soup Dinner: Taco Salad Drinks: Pot of Coffee black, Kroger Seltzer Water Watermelon, Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober 2 (Day 17) Didn't sleep very well last night. Stayed up later than I should have to listen to the streamer that I like to watch on Monday nights. But when I did finally get to bed I had one of those nights when I jumped out of bed every time I laid down. I could just not lay still. I even tried to do the meditation, the notification disappeared from my phone before I got to bed. But every time I laid down my heart would race and my breathing started racing. It felt like a panic attack every time I tried to get to sleep. This has happened before, but it is a very rare occurrence. I'm not sure what causes this, but it doesn't happen enough to try to figure out. I was able to wake up early enough to eat the regular breakfast of bacon and e

Weight: 335.2 lbs (152.0 kg) BMI: 43.0 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Center Cut Pork Chops Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee black, Monster Energy Zero Ultra, Kroger Seltzer Water Watermelon, Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober 2 (Day 16) I'm guessing that the “Relaxation Meditation” went really well last night as the last thing I remember was turning on the meditation app and then waking up at 8:30 this morning. Another day when I woke up I had a stiff headache. I'm really thinking that it's dehydration again. I haven't been drinking much of anything over the last couple of days. And as I got up and started drinking coffee I started feeling better. But then again I was drinking coffee, and coffee does tend to make people feel better. The last couple of days I've decided to drink the coffee black, I'm attempting to see if I feel any different with plain coffee than with the half cup of cream that I usuall

Weight: 336.2 lbs (152.5 kg) BMI: 43.3 Waist: 57.5 in (146.1 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Green Bean Casserole Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee black, A couple of cans of Kroger Seltzer Water Strawberry Lemonade Weeks Sober 2 (Day 15) Had a hard time getting the weekly weigh in done today. Kind of a hard time getting up and going. It was nice to be down almost a pound and a half from last week. It had been a frustrating trend for a while each week I've been down for each week, but the weight had been up from the Saturday's post. But this week I'm down for the week and also for the day. I am grateful that today was another slow and smooth day at work. When I got there I was told that the Customer Service Manager was wanting me to update the closing reports for the new year. It really isn't hard to do (but it did take all day to do) All that needed to be done was rename each file, change the dates inside the file, and clear the da

Weight: 337.2 lbs (153.0 kg) BMI: 43.5 Waist: 57.5 in (146.1 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Ground Beef Casserole Dinner: Bacon wrapped Chicken Breast Drinks: Kroger Energy Shot, Several cans of Kroger Seltzer Water Strawberry Lemonade Weeks Sober 1 (Day 14) Last night I found that the phone did repeat the meditation program. It is somewhere inside of the Samsung Health app, but I can't seem to find it organically during the day. Last nights (12-8-23) session wasn't as effective as the previous night's (12-7-23) session. When the notification came up it had a collection of things to choose from and it said that the one I did previously was the “Seven Days of Relaxation” But when I choose that one it started saying the same thing it said the previous time. So I chose a different button on the front of that app. I'm thinking that is the next lesson on the “Seven Days of Relaxation” as it was labeled as something it said that was a Dutch term that (mo

Tootn' Chili Weight: 339.0 lbs (153.8 kg) BMI: 43.5 Waist: 57.0 in (144.8 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili Beef Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: Pot of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, 900ml water, Several cans of Kroger Seltzer Water Strawberry Lemonade Weeks Sober 1 (Day 13) As I was going to bed last night I got a notification on my phone that led to a meditation guidance thing. Which I really appreciate because I've looked up how to meditate before and a lot of them just seem to say, “Okay, just sit there and meditate” what does that mean? Well you sit there and meditate. How do you do that? Well, you just meditate. But last night there was a voice over that encouraged a breathing exercise? Regimen? Session? (I like session, I'll use that one) While reminding me to just focus on the breathing and not allowing the mind to wonder. It said to sit straight up and relaxed, but I did it laying flat in the bed with my arms to my side. I'm

Weight: 340.8 lbs (154.6 kg) BMI: 43.8 Waist: 57.0 in (144.8 cm) WtHr: 77.0% Breakfast: Sausage Patties and Eggs Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, 900ml water Weeks Sober 1 (Day 12) Stayed up WAY too late last night trying to write a blog post. So I naturally slept in WAY too late. I had time to cook breakfast, but didn't do much else. Doctor says that getting up in the morning to try to get out into the sun is a good way to stave off the seasonal depression and I do have a small patio outside of my apartment so I have been thinking about buying a small table and putting a chair out there so that I can eat breakfast out on the patio and absorb some of the morning sun. But of course if I'm going to do that I'm going to have to start waking up in the morning. And as I'm writing this first part I'm needing to run out of the door three minutes ago. I was feeling alright before I left for work,

Weight: 338.0 lbs (153.3 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.0 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Lazy White Lasagna Dinner: Queso Soup Drinks: most of a pot of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober: 1 (11 Days) Can't seem to find the thought power to write anything in the last couple of days. And today would be really easy to make it a “Mark Whines About Work” blog. I had a lot of interactions that would have made good additions to the To Do list on Store Stories, but a lot of them were things that are already on there, the strange thing is that the list I've compiled over a decade or two is having so many examples in this last week or so. It's also strange that so many people are so Goddamned pissy. Which leads to the question as to if it's everybody around me or is it me projecting on everybody around me. Usually when I drop off on posting on the blog it means that I've fallen off the wagon again, but

Weight: 338.2 lbs ( 153.4 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili (Turkey) Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: couple cups of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, 2700ml water Days Without Beer 6 Was very excited this morning. This was the second month in a row where I didn't have any fees in my savings account and was able to pay all of the months bills on the first of the month. The fees that I have to worry about in the savings account are if you make more than two transfers out of the savings account online you are charged a dollar for every transfer (transfers you do at the bank in person don't count towards the fee). The other fee is that if your savings account ever gets under $100 in the month they'll charge you $3. One of my long time goals is to have all of the bills for the month paid on the first of each month. It is just so unbelievably satisfying to have all of the things paid off

Weight: 339.6 lbs ( 154.0 kg) BMI: 43.6 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Pepperoni and Mozzarella Rolls with ranch dressing Dinner: Keto “Hamburger Helper” Drinks: pot of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Lemon Days Without Beer 5 Woke up with what felt like a hangover. Headache, stiff neck and muscles, foggy head. “Dr Google” says that “Phantom Hangovers” can happen days to months after quitting drinking. Then again it might just be that I need to buy a new pillow, the one I have now is quite old. Not quite as down today as I was yesterday. But still a little slow this morning. Wasn't looking forward to going to work. I am seriously getting tired of working with these “children” and everyday is just waiting for the day to get over with. Today was better emotionally for me than yesterday was, but going to work just feels so empty. Roommate is home this week. He was telling me about his ne

Weight: 340.8 lbs (154.6 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, 2800ml water, Days Without Beer 4 I guess yesterday's “eyes open jump out of bed was an anomaly. I had absolutely no “go” this morning. This really was the kind of day where (when?) I was just kind of waiting for the day to end so I could just go home. I keep coming back to the idea that I need to get a “Grown Up Job” I just can't but wonder if I ruined everything by staying at the store for so long. People tell me that I have a good work history because I worked at one place for over 20 years. But now I'm 37 years old with no education, other experiences outside of working at a grocery store. I've been told that it's never too late to go back to school and get an education etc. But I barely have the money or mental energy to work at what I'm doing. IDK m

Weight: 338.0 lbs (153.3 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Bratwursts Dinner: Pizza Mix Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Mandarin Orange, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Cranberry Lime Days Without Beer 3 I remember waking up early this morning. (well, early for me) I had opened my eyes and jumped out of bed. This is not usual for me. I was up walking around at 7:30 this morning. That's usually one of the times when I “wake up” blink and then it's 9:30. But this morning I was up walking around laughing about how I was “eyes open jump out of bed” this morning. Not sure if that's due to Sobriety or because of Keto, but I did like how I felt this morning and for the most of the first three quarters of the day. It took a while to get focused enough to get breakfast cooked. Yeah, it was 7:30 when I was laughing about being up and moving around, but it was still 9:30 by the time I got started on breakfast. And al

Weight: 338.4 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Bratwursts Dinner: Rib eye Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Lemon Lime, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Blackberry Citrus Days Without Beer 2      Going to try to redouble the efforts to avoid alcohol. You can lie on a blog, or to people you talk to (don't think about it too hard) but you can't lie on/to medical tests and I'm eight days away from the first doctors visit in maybe, 25 years? And some of the medications that I'm anticipating them to prescribe I'm going to guess are not going to react well to beer. Not to mention all of the hundreds of other reasons that I want to quit drinking.      Woke up this morning with sharp pains in my heals, I'm going to guess that those are due to the fact that I've been walking around the last day or two close to 340 lbs (154.2 kg) and the beer that I had on Saturday      I was going to help

Weight: 336.8 lbs (152.8 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Southwest Detox Chicken Soup Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Pot of Coffee, Kroger energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar Energy Days Without Beer 7      I went to bed early last night. The store closed at 5 last night because of Thanksgiving. And when I got home I just kind of shut down. I really couldn't write anything on the blog or work on any of the many things I want to be working on. An idea that I came up with was because I got off early and mind and body was just feeling like “hey, it's the end of the day were done now” even though I got off early and had a short day. The counter to that thought is on a normal day I do most of the writing on these blog posts after work (writing this first part before work though). The other thought it is probably Holiday Depression. I did feel like I was missing out on something, which is odd because my family going to have the family ga

Weight: 338.4 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 57 in (144.8 cm) WtHr: 77% Breakfast: X Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup Snack: Leftover Fathead Pizza Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Sugar Free Rockstar Silver Days Without Beer 5      Today was a really smooth day. It was the day before Thanksgiving so it was busy, but they thankfully scheduled us to have extra help. Or heh, “extra” help. Three or four years ago most of today's help would have been the normal crew. It was also nice that everybody showed up for work and all of the customers seemed to understand that it was busy. It probably helped that all of the registers were open. But then again if anybody calls in “sick” today they'd lose their holiday pay. As if anybody calls in the day before, the day of, or the day after any paid holiday not only would people lose out on the pay for the hours that they're scheduled to work, but they'd lose out on 4 to 8 hours of extra pay depending on if they're full or part time.