Marks Blog

Weight: 338.4 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Stroganoff Casserole Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, Kroger Seltzer Water Cranberry Lime Weeks Sober 2 (Day 19) Last night the meditation was kind of strange. I was able to meditate without falling asleep just fine, and I did feel calm after the breathing session, but the “Stress” tracker on my watch said that the level of stress that I was experiencing had gone up instead of down like in previous sessions. I did fall asleep quite easily last night. Strangely the app said that I didn't get to sleep until 2:30 this morning, even though I went to bed closer to midnight. That first doctors appointment when the doctor asked me how well I usually sleep I asked him how much he trusted smartwatches to track sleep, and he seemed to think that they are pretty accurate. Bit of a hard time getting going this morning.

Weight: 338.0 lbs (153.3 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.0 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Lazy White Lasagna Dinner: Queso Soup Drinks: most of a pot of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober: 1 (11 Days) Can't seem to find the thought power to write anything in the last couple of days. And today would be really easy to make it a “Mark Whines About Work” blog. I had a lot of interactions that would have made good additions to the To Do list on Store Stories, but a lot of them were things that are already on there, the strange thing is that the list I've compiled over a decade or two is having so many examples in this last week or so. It's also strange that so many people are so Goddamned pissy. Which leads to the question as to if it's everybody around me or is it me projecting on everybody around me. Usually when I drop off on posting on the blog it means that I've fallen off the wagon again, but

Weight: 338.2 lbs ( 153.4 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili (Turkey) Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: couple cups of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, 2700ml water Days Without Beer 6 Was very excited this morning. This was the second month in a row where I didn't have any fees in my savings account and was able to pay all of the months bills on the first of the month. The fees that I have to worry about in the savings account are if you make more than two transfers out of the savings account online you are charged a dollar for every transfer (transfers you do at the bank in person don't count towards the fee). The other fee is that if your savings account ever gets under $100 in the month they'll charge you $3. One of my long time goals is to have all of the bills for the month paid on the first of each month. It is just so unbelievably satisfying to have all of the things paid off

Weight: 340.8 lbs (154.6 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, 2800ml water, Days Without Beer 4 I guess yesterday's “eyes open jump out of bed was an anomaly. I had absolutely no “go” this morning. This really was the kind of day where (when?) I was just kind of waiting for the day to end so I could just go home. I keep coming back to the idea that I need to get a “Grown Up Job” I just can't but wonder if I ruined everything by staying at the store for so long. People tell me that I have a good work history because I worked at one place for over 20 years. But now I'm 37 years old with no education, other experiences outside of working at a grocery store. I've been told that it's never too late to go back to school and get an education etc. But I barely have the money or mental energy to work at what I'm doing. IDK m

Weight: 338.0 lbs (153.3 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Bratwursts Dinner: Pizza Mix Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Mandarin Orange, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Cranberry Lime Days Without Beer 3 I remember waking up early this morning. (well, early for me) I had opened my eyes and jumped out of bed. This is not usual for me. I was up walking around at 7:30 this morning. That's usually one of the times when I “wake up” blink and then it's 9:30. But this morning I was up walking around laughing about how I was “eyes open jump out of bed” this morning. Not sure if that's due to Sobriety or because of Keto, but I did like how I felt this morning and for the most of the first three quarters of the day. It took a while to get focused enough to get breakfast cooked. Yeah, it was 7:30 when I was laughing about being up and moving around, but it was still 9:30 by the time I got started on breakfast. And al

Weight: 338.4 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Bratwursts Dinner: Rib eye Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Lemon Lime, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Blackberry Citrus Days Without Beer 2      Going to try to redouble the efforts to avoid alcohol. You can lie on a blog, or to people you talk to (don't think about it too hard) but you can't lie on/to medical tests and I'm eight days away from the first doctors visit in maybe, 25 years? And some of the medications that I'm anticipating them to prescribe I'm going to guess are not going to react well to beer. Not to mention all of the hundreds of other reasons that I want to quit drinking.      Woke up this morning with sharp pains in my heals, I'm going to guess that those are due to the fact that I've been walking around the last day or two close to 340 lbs (154.2 kg) and the beer that I had on Saturday      I was going to help

Weight: 338.4 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 57 in (144.8 cm) WtHr: 77% Breakfast: X Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup Snack: Leftover Fathead Pizza Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Sugar Free Rockstar Silver Days Without Beer 5      Today was a really smooth day. It was the day before Thanksgiving so it was busy, but they thankfully scheduled us to have extra help. Or heh, “extra” help. Three or four years ago most of today's help would have been the normal crew. It was also nice that everybody showed up for work and all of the customers seemed to understand that it was busy. It probably helped that all of the registers were open. But then again if anybody calls in “sick” today they'd lose their holiday pay. As if anybody calls in the day before, the day of, or the day after any paid holiday not only would people lose out on the pay for the hours that they're scheduled to work, but they'd lose out on 4 to 8 hours of extra pay depending on if they're full or part time.

Weight: 338.2 lbs (154.5 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 57.5 in (146.1 cm) WtHr: 77.7% Breakfast: Steak and Eggs Lunch: Lazy White Lasagna Dinner: Baked Pork Steak Mac and Cheese Drinks: Diet Big K Cola 3, Sugar Free Rockstar, 2x Kroger energy Shot Weeks Without Beer 1 (12 Days) Woke up with a Charlie Horse and feet felt like FIRE. The last several days I've woke up with a bit of a headache and some other “unwellness” stuff but they usually go away when I get up and moving. Today however the feet, ankles, and knees were just pain all day today. I'm seeing online that Keto can cause a deficiency in potassium and magnesium and that can cause cramping and pain in the muscles. I think I'll be adding those supplements to the shopping list for next week. I do like the idea that you should take all of your vitamins and nutrients through the food that you eat so if anybody has any suggestions for any food that I should be eating that contains the nutrients that I'm missing I would gr

Weight: 338.2 lbs (154.4 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 57.5 in (146.1 cm) WtHr: 77.7% Breakfast: Sausage Patties and eggs Lunch: Pork Steak Dinner: Southwest Chicken Detox Soup Snack: Original Flavor Pork Rinds, Thick and Chunky Medium Salsa Drinks: Pot of coffee, 3600ml water                Canned Soda:                     Diet Dr Pepper: 4                     Diet Mt Dew: 1                     Diet Pepsi: 2 Weeks Without Beer 1 (9 Days)      Finished off the last of the diet canned diet soda and threw away all of the old cans that were piling up on my desk. I don't know why I keep all of the cans of drinks that I am drinking I did this both with beer and sodas that I drank. I'll keep the cans until I finish the case and then fill up the box with the used cans. It makes absolutely no sense to keep these cans, it just makes it so that I'm surrounded by literal trash u

Weight: 338.4lbs (153.5kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 58.5 in (148.6 cm) WtHr: 79.1% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Snack: Sardines Lunch: Pork Steak Dinner: Cheesy Ramen Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream           Canned Soda:                       Diet Dr Pepper: 5                       Diet Mt Dew: 5                       Diet Pepsi: 5                       Pepsi Zero: 5 Days Without Beer: 4    Slept considerably better last night than I did the previous night. Which is interesting because of how many caffeinated drinks I had yesterday. Had stayed up a lot later because I was watching Radio Dead Air. He usually streams on Monday night, but he wasn't feeling well so he decided to stream on Tuesday. I will try to go to bed earlier tonight.      Holy beans I woke up with ALL KINDS OF ENERGY today. A bit annoyed that it was 10am by the time I got up and going. And I'm not sure if it was the sleep quality (the health app showed that I got quite a bit of “Deep Sleep”), the Ketosis kicking in

Weight: 338.2 lbs (153.4 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 57 in (144.8 cm) WtHr: 77% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Kraft Deluxe Original Cheddar Mac and cheese with some ground beef and Tomato Paste Dinner: X Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, 4500ml water      Had a hard time falling asleep last night. Went to bed earlier than I usually do. I went to bed right after I posted last night right after midnight, but then spent several hours spinning like a rotisserie chicken. According to the health app on my phone I didn't get to sleep until 3am. I was really frustrated when I woke up and saw that it was 10 in the morning already. (And yes I can see how that could be seen as a humble brag) but I really am wanting to get out of bed earlier. And today was one of those days where I would look at the time and be disappointed that it was several hours later.       It's a bit concerning that I am up 4.2 pounds (1.9 kg) today compared to yesterday. I'm trying to tell myself that a daily we

Weight: 338.4 lbs ( 153.50 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 57 in ( 144.8 cm) WtHr: 77% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Chicken Adobo Dinner: X Drinks: Most of a pot of Coffee with cream, ~5400ml water, Had a hard time getting started this morning. I was excited that I woke up close to 7:30. I usually wake up closer to 9am and just kind of lay there until I have to get ready for work. (typically work at 11am, but I have Tuesdays off) However, today was awesome I woke up with the energy to really get going. Unfortunately it was chaotic energy so I couldn't find the focus to get anything done. I kept catching myself doing laps around my kitchen and living room. I would go into the kitchen to cook breakfast. But then I'd see the ingredients in the fridge for the recipes that I want to cook, so I'd think that I'd want to get the ingredients organized, but to do that I'll have to clean off the table, bringing back the thought that I'll have to clean the kitchen, but before

Weight: 341.4 lbs ( 153.4 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 58 in ( 144.8 cm) WtHr: 78.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Cottage Cheese and Lasagna Soup Dinner: Grilled Bratwursts Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee, Kroger Energy Shot, Sugar Free Rockstar Energy, ~1000ml water, 12pk Bud Light Next The first Monday of the month I want to record a General Update video where I just turn on the camera and Vlog for a bit. But didn't get a chance to edit it before I had to leave. Again I'm not feeling all that confident in it. Yesterday and Today I had wanted to get videos done before work so they were rush jobs and every time I turned on the camera my mind went completely blank on everything I was wanting to say. So the General Update I made today was me talking about one idea that I had and then, “Oh, yeah I was going to mention this other thing.” So I talk about the other thing. Oh, wait I wasn't done talking about the first thing so I go back to talking about the other thing. So the vid

Weight: 338.2 lbs (153.4 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 57 in (144.8 cm) WtHr: 77% Breakfast: X Lunch: Cottage Cheese Dinner: Queso Soup Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee, Powerade Zero, Kroger Energy Shot. ~4200ml water Took too long on getting the Weekly Weigh In video done to cook breakfast. I don't feel that it was a very good video. But at least I got the video done. I don't think that I put much energy into the video this morning. But I had a blast of energy as I was going into work. Which is not something that I get to say very often. I still didn't want to be there, but at least I didn't feel like a zombie the entire time. I had so much energy that I was actually outpacing everybody around me. More than one person chuckled at me because I was pounding the buttons on the register and waving my hand at the drawer because it wasn't opening up fast enough. At lunch I picked up some cottage cheese to go with the Lasagna soup that I had planned out. But the microwave w

Weight: 337.8 lbs ( 153.2 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in ( 142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Johnsonville Jalapeno Cheddar Sausages Dinner: Red Baron Supreme Pizza, Cheddar and Sour cream chips, French Onion dip (I'll diet tomorrow) Drinks: 1/2 Pot of coffee, couple cans of Diet Pepsi and Diet Mt Dew, 2x Kroger Energy Shots      I haven't been doing the daily blog for the last week or so. Last week I took advantage of the four for $15 sale on the 12pk soda. And over the last several days my brain just went to mush. I'm thinking of doing a research video on how artificial sweeteners effect the brain and mood. I had thought that the caffeine in the soda was effecting my sleep patterns. But the smartwatch that I wear tracks how much sleep I get and it didn't look like I was getting less sleep compared to the previous week. I was getting less “deep sleep” than previously, but I don't tend to get very much deep sleep. (Probably because I drink energy

Weight: 338.2 lbs ( 153.9 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in ( 142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Linner: Ribs Drinks: Case of Keystone Light Beer      I really didn't feel like writing today's blog (seriously I flipped a coin to determine to post today or not) I'm still on vacation time this week, so I just sat here at my computer playing video games and watching YouTube. That just doesn't seem like a very compelling read. I started off the day thinking that I was going to clean up the house a bit, but never got around to doing any cleaning. I did get some dishes washed, but that's hardly worth bragging about.      Honestly today was one of the days that I was worried about at the start of this week. Where I'm just sitting here at my computer not doing anything, blinking and then it's several hours later. My vacation is already half over and I've only finished one or two videos that I've wanted to work on.      I did bake a rack of ri

Weight: 337.8 lbs ( 153.2 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in ( 142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Tacos Del Alambre Dinner: Kroger Cheddar Bratwursts Drinks:Kroger energy shot, 5 hour energy shot      Slept in too long to get anything done before work this morning. Not sure what happened, but as least I finally got eight hours of sleep. But I was still very low energy all day. When I got home from work I finally got around to logging my spending. This is something I really need to do every single day, but I just hadn't the last week or so. I really haven't been following any of my plans. They really aren't hard plans it's just a matter of discipline      This is a really short post because it's a bit of a rush job. I spent too long after work logging my spending re-balancing graphs to put much thought into the blog. If I was doing this everyday like I want to be doing it wouldn't have been an issue, but here we are.

  Weight: 338 lbs ( 153.3 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 55 in ( 139.7 cm) WtHr: 74.3% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Taco Salad Dinner: Hot Dogs, Cauliflower Rice “Mac” and Cheese Drinks: 5 hour energy shot, Sparkling water, Tap water      Now that the mysterious charges against my bank account is solved (hopefully) I can chill out about that. I'm more than a little cranky that I didn't get a notification that I was getting a charge before, “Okay, here's your receipt” also that when I click on the “how to get a refund” link the site that is brought up doesn't show the charge on the list of subscriptions, or the history of purchases. But whatever it was a charge for a renewal for a program that is on my computer, and the card that was used for that program is now canceled so I shouldn't be getting any more surprise charges from that. Last night when I got home I was about to raise an unholy stink at my bank. It looked like there was another charge from Avast on the acco

Weight: 338 lbs? (153.3 kg) Waist: 55 in (139.7 cm) BMI: 43.4 Mood: trying Breakfast: Pot of Coffee Lunch: 5pk Kroger Cheddar Bratwurst, Bacon Ranch Dressing, 1.25 L Diet Coke Afternoon Snack: Leftover Pepperoni (approx 5oz) Dinner: can of Campbell's Chunky Soup Classic Chicken Noodle, 1.25 L Diet Pepsi Notes: Trying this again. Not sure if anyone cares, or if I should even bother. I tell myself that I'm doing it to get in the habit of counting calories. But I rarely get very driven to keep up on this. I would “like” to do keto. But that does take a bit of doing to get into the habit of eating certain things. And a lot of my problems in general is getting into a habit of doing things. My main problem is the sin of Sloth. I spend way too much time just sitting around waiting for things to get better. I'm starting to get the hint that it's not going to “just get better.” So I need to get up and start MAKING it better. Scale is ac