Marks Blog

Weight: 340.6 lbs (154.5 kg) BMI: 43.7 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Burger King Eggnormous Burrito Meal Lunch: Stroganoff Casserole Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: Couple cans of Kroger Seltzer Watermelon, Kroger Energy Shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, 900 ml water Sober Day 2 All morning I keep opening up tabs and closing them again. I really do want to avoid Social Media, but that's going to be a hard habit to break. Trucker Roommate was able to collect on some rather large boxes of Kit-Kat candy bars. Not exactly something I could have on my diet, but I decided that my sister's kids would like some candy. Not the most Ketogenic breakfast, but was on the way home from sister's house and didn't have time to cook properly. I did take my vitamins this morning, but didn't get a chance to get in any coffee and did feel that for the first half of work. Really felt worthless all day at work. Another day where I feel like I'm just waiting for the da

Weight: 334.6 lbs ( 151.8 kg) BMI: 43.0 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Egg Stuff Lunch: Beef Hot Dogs Dinner: Pork Steak Drinks: Couple cups of coffee with a teaspoon of salt and a splash of cream, Quite a few cans of Seltzer water of various flavors Weeks Sober 3 (Day 23) Not a very productive day today. I am using the last of the Paid Time Off that I have for the year. So I'll have four days off instead of two and when I got up this morning my computer updated the video driver and I thought it'd play games a bit better (it's been looking a bit rough lately) but what game did I play to see if my computer is playing games well? Minecraft. Not the game that pushes the computer the most. I was just going to start it up for a bit, but I kind of got pulled in. I just kind of looked up and it was close to 10 hours later. I really didn't even do anything. I really just flattened out an area to start a farm and the wall to go around it. I did explore a b

Weight: 331.2 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 42.5 Waist: 56.5 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Johnsonville Jalapeno Cheddar Smoked Sausages Lunch: Low Carb Goulash Dinner: Center Cut Pork Chops pan seared in butter Drinks: 2x Sugar Free Rockstar, Kroger Energy Shot, Kroger Seltzer Water Cranberry Lime Weeks Sober 2 (Day 21) Didn't wake up in time to get a proper breakfast or any coffee. When I did get up the ankles were really angry at me. The shoestring on my newer shoes had broke a week or so ago so I've been wearing an older pair and I think that's starting to have an effect. I'm going to pick up a new pair of strings on my way home from work tonight. But as for breakfast I was able to get up early enough to run into work and have some Johnsonville Sausages and some Sugar Free Rockstar Energy. I did have to clock in a minute or two late to finish eating, but I don't have a job where I can get "hangry" It is interesting that I felt more energized by the can

Weight: 335.2 lbs (152.0 kg) BMI: 43.0 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Center Cut Pork Chops Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee black, Monster Energy Zero Ultra, Kroger Seltzer Water Watermelon, Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober 2 (Day 16) I'm guessing that the “Relaxation Meditation” went really well last night as the last thing I remember was turning on the meditation app and then waking up at 8:30 this morning. Another day when I woke up I had a stiff headache. I'm really thinking that it's dehydration again. I haven't been drinking much of anything over the last couple of days. And as I got up and started drinking coffee I started feeling better. But then again I was drinking coffee, and coffee does tend to make people feel better. The last couple of days I've decided to drink the coffee black, I'm attempting to see if I feel any different with plain coffee than with the half cup of cream that I usuall

Weight: 336.2 lbs (152.5 kg) BMI: 43.3 Waist: 57.5 in (146.1 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Green Bean Casserole Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee black, A couple of cans of Kroger Seltzer Water Strawberry Lemonade Weeks Sober 2 (Day 15) Had a hard time getting the weekly weigh in done today. Kind of a hard time getting up and going. It was nice to be down almost a pound and a half from last week. It had been a frustrating trend for a while each week I've been down for each week, but the weight had been up from the Saturday's post. But this week I'm down for the week and also for the day. I am grateful that today was another slow and smooth day at work. When I got there I was told that the Customer Service Manager was wanting me to update the closing reports for the new year. It really isn't hard to do (but it did take all day to do) All that needed to be done was rename each file, change the dates inside the file, and clear the da

Weight: 337.2 lbs (153.0 kg) BMI: 43.5 Waist: 57.5 in (146.1 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Ground Beef Casserole Dinner: Bacon wrapped Chicken Breast Drinks: Kroger Energy Shot, Several cans of Kroger Seltzer Water Strawberry Lemonade Weeks Sober 1 (Day 14) Last night I found that the phone did repeat the meditation program. It is somewhere inside of the Samsung Health app, but I can't seem to find it organically during the day. Last nights (12-8-23) session wasn't as effective as the previous night's (12-7-23) session. When the notification came up it had a collection of things to choose from and it said that the one I did previously was the “Seven Days of Relaxation” But when I choose that one it started saying the same thing it said the previous time. So I chose a different button on the front of that app. I'm thinking that is the next lesson on the “Seven Days of Relaxation” as it was labeled as something it said that was a Dutch term that (mo

Tootn' Chili Weight: 339.0 lbs (153.8 kg) BMI: 43.5 Waist: 57.0 in (144.8 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili Beef Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: Pot of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, 900ml water, Several cans of Kroger Seltzer Water Strawberry Lemonade Weeks Sober 1 (Day 13) As I was going to bed last night I got a notification on my phone that led to a meditation guidance thing. Which I really appreciate because I've looked up how to meditate before and a lot of them just seem to say, “Okay, just sit there and meditate” what does that mean? Well you sit there and meditate. How do you do that? Well, you just meditate. But last night there was a voice over that encouraged a breathing exercise? Regimen? Session? (I like session, I'll use that one) While reminding me to just focus on the breathing and not allowing the mind to wonder. It said to sit straight up and relaxed, but I did it laying flat in the bed with my arms to my side. I'm

Weight: 338.0 lbs (153.3 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.0 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Lazy White Lasagna Dinner: Queso Soup Drinks: most of a pot of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober: 1 (11 Days) Can't seem to find the thought power to write anything in the last couple of days. And today would be really easy to make it a “Mark Whines About Work” blog. I had a lot of interactions that would have made good additions to the To Do list on Store Stories, but a lot of them were things that are already on there, the strange thing is that the list I've compiled over a decade or two is having so many examples in this last week or so. It's also strange that so many people are so Goddamned pissy. Which leads to the question as to if it's everybody around me or is it me projecting on everybody around me. Usually when I drop off on posting on the blog it means that I've fallen off the wagon again, but

Weight: 338.2 lbs ( 153.4 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili (Turkey) Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: couple cups of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, 2700ml water Days Without Beer 6 Was very excited this morning. This was the second month in a row where I didn't have any fees in my savings account and was able to pay all of the months bills on the first of the month. The fees that I have to worry about in the savings account are if you make more than two transfers out of the savings account online you are charged a dollar for every transfer (transfers you do at the bank in person don't count towards the fee). The other fee is that if your savings account ever gets under $100 in the month they'll charge you $3. One of my long time goals is to have all of the bills for the month paid on the first of each month. It is just so unbelievably satisfying to have all of the things paid off

Weight: 339.6 lbs ( 154.0 kg) BMI: 43.6 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Pepperoni and Mozzarella Rolls with ranch dressing Dinner: Keto “Hamburger Helper” Drinks: pot of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Lemon Days Without Beer 5 Woke up with what felt like a hangover. Headache, stiff neck and muscles, foggy head. “Dr Google” says that “Phantom Hangovers” can happen days to months after quitting drinking. Then again it might just be that I need to buy a new pillow, the one I have now is quite old. Not quite as down today as I was yesterday. But still a little slow this morning. Wasn't looking forward to going to work. I am seriously getting tired of working with these “children” and everyday is just waiting for the day to get over with. Today was better emotionally for me than yesterday was, but going to work just feels so empty. Roommate is home this week. He was telling me about his ne

Weight: 340.8 lbs (154.6 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, 2800ml water, Days Without Beer 4 I guess yesterday's “eyes open jump out of bed was an anomaly. I had absolutely no “go” this morning. This really was the kind of day where (when?) I was just kind of waiting for the day to end so I could just go home. I keep coming back to the idea that I need to get a “Grown Up Job” I just can't but wonder if I ruined everything by staying at the store for so long. People tell me that I have a good work history because I worked at one place for over 20 years. But now I'm 37 years old with no education, other experiences outside of working at a grocery store. I've been told that it's never too late to go back to school and get an education etc. But I barely have the money or mental energy to work at what I'm doing. IDK m

Weight: 338.6 lbs (153.6 kg) BMI: 43.8 Waist: 56.5 in (147.3 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: x Dinner: Fathead Pizza Drinks: Pot of coffee with cream, Days Without Beer 4      I'm thinking of making a weekly post of what my menu that I'm planning on eating for the week. I still plan on making a Daily Blog post saying what I decided to eat and feel about each day. I'm thinking that if I make a post each week saying what I plan on eating during the week I'm more likely to stick to the food that I have planned out. I'm not sure what to call this <proposed> weekly post. I'm planning on making this each Tuesday since that's my allocated day off each week so that is the day that I have the most time to cook and make a recipe plan for the week. A week being seven days. But I have the idea that for some people coming across a "weekly menu" that starts on a day that is only one day off from the middle of what most people consider th

Weight: 329.8 lbs ( 149.6 kg) BMI: 42.3 Waist: 56.5 in ( 143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: X Dinner: Skillet Chicken Fajita Casserole Drinks: pot of coffee; ~3600ml water with lemon juice, 12pk Bud Light Next      Had a bit of a slow start today. I was laying in bed thinking of all of the stuff I want to get done today, but Tuesdays are my days off, but I have a lot to do today...repeat.      When I did finally convenience myself to get going I was excited to see that I was back under 330 lbs (149.7 kg) again! It's only by 3oz (90g) But hey, it's still under the last goal. Unlikely to meet the next goal ( 320 lbs {145.2 kg} by June 5) 330 lbs is the goal that I've been working on for the longest. And that's the one where I know if I hit it, I'm on the right track. When I'm not doing things right I'm never under 330 lbs. Waistline is up a bit from yesterday, but I'm noticing that the sides of the gut are sinking in again.

Weight: 338.4 lbs ( 153.5 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56 in ( 142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Spinach Chicken Artichoke Casserole Dinner: Bratwursts and mac and cheese Drinks: Cup of coffee with cream, 2x Kroger energy shot, Water Days Sober: 3    Finally got up early enough to make some bacon and eggs for breakfast. Also had some coffee with cream in it. I've grown fond of coffee with cream, unfortunately I used up the last of my cream this morning. (Didn't even get the entire cup drank) So if I get up and going early enough tomorrow to get breakfast with some coffee I'll have to drink it black.      It's said that a breakfast is a good way to get more energy over the rest of the day, but I didn't feel much of a difference from today and the last few days. But I am feeling a considerable difference from this week and previous weeks. It is quite a bit easier to get up and going when doesn't feel like I'm standing on electricity when I

Weight: 338 lbs ( 151.9 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56 in ( 142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: No Time Lunch: Cottage Cheese Dinner: Baked Chicken with Mac and cheese Drinks: Scooters Peanut Butter Crunch Coffee, a couple bottles of water, 2x Kroger Energy Shots Days Sober: 2      I don't know why the thumbnails for my blog on Facebook are showing the thumbnail for a weekly weigh in video I did a couple of weeks ago. I even posted a picture of myself in another post to try to get it to show that picture as the thumbnail. I'm going to have to do some research on how to select a lasting thumbnail.      The weigh in this morning was a bit disconcerting. I'm guessing that it was up because of how late I ate dinner. And how much pasta I ate and the amount of water I drank yesterday      Roommate woke me up this morning with a call. He was back in town for the week so I didn't have time for breakfast. He did have us go through Scooters for some coffee, I've never had Scoo

Weight: 334.8 lbs ( 151.9 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56 in ( 142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Slept in Lunch: Spaghetti Dinner: Chili Mac Days Sober: 1      Had a hard time getting going today. I have blankets covering my upstairs windows to keep the heat of the sun out during the day, I'm thinking that I'm going to take them down at night. It was hard to wake up with the room that dark. Didn't get up and going until almost 11am.      Since I slept in so late it felt silly to cook the bacon and eggs that I normally would have had so I just finished off the last of the spaghetti for lunch instead. Again not very Keto, but I still had that last half of the box of spaghetti     Recorded another recipe video today. But didn't get around to editing yesterday's or today's videos. However I did get a pot of chili made and did get around to taking inventory of the freezer and got a meal plan together. A bit frustrating that the only thing that I seem to get done on an

Weight: 336.8 lbs ( 152.8 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56.5 in ( 143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Sausage and Eggs Lunch: China Star Buffet Dinner: Spinach Artichoke Chicken Casserole      Today was my birthday, and I woke up with the thought hey that's 37 years wasted, will I get another 37? I admit that isn't a very productive thought, but I just couldn't shake it. I know that the “mid-life crisis” isn't supposed to be the exact middle of your life. But I'm not very confident that I'll make it to 74. I'm not expecting or planing anything, but I have not been taking very good care of myself. I wasn't going to say, “Lately” at the end of that sentence, but I don't know if I ever took very good care of myself. Mom introduced me to a book labeled "Fear the Fear, and do it anyway" I don't feel that I've been struggling with the "fear" of doing anything. But perhaps the reason I haven't been as successful on YouTube as I've

W eight: 335.8 lbs ( 151.1 kg) BMI: 42.8 Waist: 56.5 in ( 143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Hot Dogs w/Ranch Dressing Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of coffee, ~3600ml water      After I posted last night I came across a video about meditation. And I thought it might be interesting to try meditation. And that was the last thing I remember from last night. I don't even remember going to bed. I'm not sure if that means that the meditation worked or if I just fell asleep. Or if that's a sign of meditation working.      I really should have closed the windows before going to bed last night because it was really freaking cold this morning. I'm pretty sure that it was 42 degrees (5.6 C) this morning when I woke up. That really got me woken up. But the feet and legs were really burning. Again once I got up and going the burning went away. The burning in my feet and ankles were rather disconcerting along with the weight tracking back upwards. I'

Had a bit of a hard time posting this post. Every time I tried to copy/paste into any browser everything froze up until I rebooted the entire computer. Strange. I hope that this isn't something wrong with my computer.  Weight: 333.2 lbs ( 151.1 kg) BMI: 42.8 Waist: 56.5 in ( 143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.3% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Hot Dogs w/Mustard Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of coffee, ~4500ml Water      Had a bit of a hard time getting moving this morning. I did gain consciousness at around 7am, but it took me about an hour to get moving. The weather was a nice cool spring day and the windows were open and nobodies heaters or air conditioners were running and it was really nice and comfy. I live right next to the High School and it's nice when their climate control is off. It is just so quiet when it's not running.      First half of work went really quite smoothly. I was kind of nervous because I was going to be running self checkout for three hours and decide

  Weight: 340.4 lbs (154.4 kg) BMI: 43.7 Waist: 56. (142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: x Lunch: Hot Dogs Dinner: Baked chicken Drinks: 5 hour energy shot, 1L sparkling water, 2L Big K diet soda      Didn't take time to eat breakfast, I needed to run to the bank to see what's up with my debit card. Still kind of annoyed that I'm not under 340 lbs (154.2 kg) but getting close!       When I went by the bank to see what's up with my debit card. And I'm more than a little annoyed by Avast antivirus. Apparently they had an automatic renewal charge on my account. And they didn't send me an announcement that they were going to charge me until I got an email saying that the payment was unsuccessful. As I was unaware that I had a charge coming up I didn't budget for it. And as I didn't have money in the account for the charge and I have a “Fresh Start” loan on my account I don't have overdraft privileges right now. So the payment was rejected. As the paymen