Marks Blog

Weight: 341.2 lbs ( 154.7 kg) BMI: 43.8 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Fathead Lasagna   Dinner: Baked T-bone Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Red Bull, Sugar Free monster, Michelob Ultra Zero, Sober Month 6 (Day 189) I know that “Happiness is not a number on a scale” but being up almost 12 pounds (~5 kg) over the month kinda hurts the morale. I've been feeling really bleah over the month. I'm not sure if that's because I've been off of the diet for too long. There is a fascinating link between Body/Mind/Spirit (emotion) health. Heck maybe looking at the weight tracking up everyday is hurting the mood. I haven't been making the daily blog, but I have been keeping track of the weight. But I often remind myself that each day is just a data point on the graph. I spent most of the week staying at Mom's house while she went to Yellowstone National Park. When she got home on Thursday I cooked up a batch o...

Weight: 332.6 lbs ( 150.8 kg) BMI: 42.7 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Pizza Soup Dinner: Cheeseburger Patties, Garden Salad Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Unsweetened Tea, Powerade Zero Strawberry, Sparkling ICE Lemon Lime Sober Month 4 (Day 147) Keto Day 3 AC guy showed up right before I had to go to work. Thankfully Roommate will be home if there are any issues. I was starting to get worried because it was 10 o'clock and he still hadn't called. I only saw that he was here because I saw his van pull up to the back of the house. We were, more or less, ready for him. We just had to drag the dog up to Roommates room. I think I recognize the technician I'm pretty sure he introduced himself to me as someone who did some work on my Grandma's house. Kind of nervous to ask him about it. He removed the heater from the basement and the AC unit from outside. And my guess of him, “being done by lunch” was kind of correct because...

Weight: 338.4 lbs ( 153.5 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Johnsonville Irish O'Garlic Sausage Links Dinner: Pork Steak Drinks: Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Monster, Keto Day 2 Sober Month 3 (Day 91) YMCA: No I didn't go to the Y today because I'm going to go Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Roommate woke me up this morning to have me take him to his appointment this morning. While he was there I went ahead and did the grocery shopping. And again I overspent, not quite as bad as last week. But I really am trying to keep it under $150. Frustratingly I didn't buy everything that I needed either. I went to the store without a plan the really expensive stuff was the bacon, eggs, and supplements. But I didn't get stuff to make the recipes that I was wanting to make. I'll have to go to the store tomorrow; and while I'm there I'll have to trade in the supplements that I bought. I was going to pick up some K...

Weight: 336.6 lbs ( 152.7 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Steak and Eggs Lunch: Bacon Cheeseburger Soup Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Monster, Kroger Energy Shot Keto Week 2 (Day 20) Sober Month 2 (Day 81) YMCA: No Causation or correlation? I have cottage cheese and hot dogs one day for lunch, the next day the weight is up. I have a recipe that I have saved for lunch the weight is down. I have Jalapeno cheesy sausages for lunch, the next day the weight is up. It's still among the lowest weigh ins for the year. And I'm still down 10 lbs for the year. I think starting tomorrow I'll start doing the tracking in my phone app again. Maybe start going back to the YMCA on Monday. I wont go tomorrow because with their Sunday hours they are only open while I'm at work. I'm thinking of trying to get into a habit of going into the weight room Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Maybe going to swim on Tuesday...

Weight: 335.2 lbs ( 152.0 kg) BMI: 43 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Johnsonville Jalapeno Cheddar Sausages Dinner: Pork Steak Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Red Bull, Sugar Free Monster, Kroger Energy Shot Keto Week 2 (Day 19) Sober Month 2 (Day 80) Wow, that was a drop. I actually moved my scale around to make sure that there wasn't anything underneath it. The watch scan says that there was a pretty big drop in muscle, but there was also a big drop in water weight. Which makes since because of the last couple of days. But the scan says that fat is up a little On the way home from the hospital with Roommate I happened to drive by where the new YMCA is going to be and wow that is going to be huge. Roommate was surprised that I cared because he thought that I had quit going. And it wasn't that I had given up on the idea of going to the Y it's just that I was waiting for him to go back to work. He asked me why h...

Weight: 341.0 lbs ( 154.6 kg) BMI: 43.8 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Italian Wedding Soup Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Monster, Powerade Zero Orange Keto Week 1 (Day 11) Sober Month 2 (Day 72) Had a bit of a hard time falling asleep last night. Apparently Verizon had an update that scans the phone to for malware. The problem is that it decided to make notifications that it had started the scan. And then sent another notification that the scan was done. And then a notification that it started the virus scan. And then a notification that the virus scan was complete. I was glad that these scans were happening. And I'm glad that the scans came out clean, but I'm not sure that I liked to have these notifications at 2 O'clock in the freaking morning. The weight was a little up today from yesterday. I'm not too worried about that because daily fluctuations happen. It's still among the lowest numbers ...

Weight: 348.8 lbs (158.2 kg) BMI: 44.8 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Bratwursts Dinner: Pizza Hut Taco and Super Supreme Pizza, Parmesan Garlic Wings Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Monster Zero Ultra Sober Day 2 Had a hard time falling asleep last night. I just couldn't keep my eyes open sitting at the computer. But going to bed I was doing an impression of a rotisserie chicken. I don't think that it was “Keto Insomnia” as yesterday was only the first day back into the diet. I think it might be because of the temperature change. It is strange to go from highs in the mid-90's to highs in the 70's without a pretty good storm in between. And the weather has been eerily calm the last couple of days. There hasn't even been a lot of wind. (At lest in Kansas anyway, I'm sure that Florida would have liked to trade us some of our calm sunshine for their hurricanes) It is quite chilly in my apartment, but I'm not will...

Weight: 340.6 lbs (154.5 kg) BMI: 43.7 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Burger King Eggnormous Burrito Meal Lunch: Stroganoff Casserole Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: Couple cans of Kroger Seltzer Watermelon, Kroger Energy Shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, 900 ml water Sober Day 2 All morning I keep opening up tabs and closing them again. I really do want to avoid Social Media, but that's going to be a hard habit to break. Trucker Roommate was able to collect on some rather large boxes of Kit-Kat candy bars. Not exactly something I could have on my diet, but I decided that my sister's kids would like some candy. Not the most Ketogenic breakfast, but was on the way home from sister's house and didn't have time to cook properly. I did take my vitamins this morning, but didn't get a chance to get in any coffee and did feel that for the first half of work. Really felt worthless all day at work. Another day where I feel like I'm just waiting for the da...

Weight: 335.2 lbs (152.0 kg) BMI: 43.0 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Center Cut Pork Chops Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee black, Monster Energy Zero Ultra, Kroger Seltzer Water Watermelon, Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober 2 (Day 16) I'm guessing that the “Relaxation Meditation” went really well last night as the last thing I remember was turning on the meditation app and then waking up at 8:30 this morning. Another day when I woke up I had a stiff headache. I'm really thinking that it's dehydration again. I haven't been drinking much of anything over the last couple of days. And as I got up and started drinking coffee I started feeling better. But then again I was drinking coffee, and coffee does tend to make people feel better. The last couple of days I've decided to drink the coffee black, I'm attempting to see if I feel any different with plain coffee than with the half cup of cream that I usuall...

Weight: 338.2 lbs ( 153.4 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili (Turkey) Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: couple cups of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, 2700ml water Days Without Beer 6 Was very excited this morning. This was the second month in a row where I didn't have any fees in my savings account and was able to pay all of the months bills on the first of the month. The fees that I have to worry about in the savings account are if you make more than two transfers out of the savings account online you are charged a dollar for every transfer (transfers you do at the bank in person don't count towards the fee). The other fee is that if your savings account ever gets under $100 in the month they'll charge you $3. One of my long time goals is to have all of the bills for the month paid on the first of each month. It is just so unbelievably satisfying to have all of the things paid off ...

Weight: 339.6 lbs ( 154.0 kg) BMI: 43.6 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Pepperoni and Mozzarella Rolls with ranch dressing Dinner: Keto “Hamburger Helper” Drinks: pot of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Lemon Days Without Beer 5 Woke up with what felt like a hangover. Headache, stiff neck and muscles, foggy head. “Dr Google” says that “Phantom Hangovers” can happen days to months after quitting drinking. Then again it might just be that I need to buy a new pillow, the one I have now is quite old. Not quite as down today as I was yesterday. But still a little slow this morning. Wasn't looking forward to going to work. I am seriously getting tired of working with these “children” and everyday is just waiting for the day to get over with. Today was better emotionally for me than yesterday was, but going to work just feels so empty. Roommate is home this week. He was telling me about his ne...

Weight: 340.8 lbs (154.6 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, 2800ml water, Days Without Beer 4 I guess yesterday's “eyes open jump out of bed was an anomaly. I had absolutely no “go” this morning. This really was the kind of day where (when?) I was just kind of waiting for the day to end so I could just go home. I keep coming back to the idea that I need to get a “Grown Up Job” I just can't but wonder if I ruined everything by staying at the store for so long. People tell me that I have a good work history because I worked at one place for over 20 years. But now I'm 37 years old with no education, other experiences outside of working at a grocery store. I've been told that it's never too late to go back to school and get an education etc. But I barely have the money or mental energy to work at what I'm doing. IDK m...

Weight: 329.8 lbs ( 149.6 kg) BMI: 42.3 Waist: 56.5 in ( 143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: X Dinner: Skillet Chicken Fajita Casserole Drinks: pot of coffee; ~3600ml water with lemon juice, 12pk Bud Light Next      Had a bit of a slow start today. I was laying in bed thinking of all of the stuff I want to get done today, but Tuesdays are my days off, but I have a lot to do today...repeat.      When I did finally convenience myself to get going I was excited to see that I was back under 330 lbs (149.7 kg) again! It's only by 3oz (90g) But hey, it's still under the last goal. Unlikely to meet the next goal ( 320 lbs {145.2 kg} by June 5) 330 lbs is the goal that I've been working on for the longest. And that's the one where I know if I hit it, I'm on the right track. When I'm not doing things right I'm never under 330 lbs. Waistline is up a bit from yesterday, but I'm noticing that the sides of the gut are sinking in again. ...

Weight: 336.8 lbs ( 152.8 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56.5 in ( 143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Sausage and Eggs Lunch: China Star Buffet Dinner: Spinach Artichoke Chicken Casserole      Today was my birthday, and I woke up with the thought hey that's 37 years wasted, will I get another 37? I admit that isn't a very productive thought, but I just couldn't shake it. I know that the “mid-life crisis” isn't supposed to be the exact middle of your life. But I'm not very confident that I'll make it to 74. I'm not expecting or planing anything, but I have not been taking very good care of myself. I wasn't going to say, “Lately” at the end of that sentence, but I don't know if I ever took very good care of myself. Mom introduced me to a book labeled "Fear the Fear, and do it anyway" I don't feel that I've been struggling with the "fear" of doing anything. But perhaps the reason I haven't been as successful on YouTube as I've...

W eight: 335.8 lbs ( 151.1 kg) BMI: 42.8 Waist: 56.5 in ( 143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Hot Dogs w/Ranch Dressing Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of coffee, ~3600ml water      After I posted last night I came across a video about meditation. And I thought it might be interesting to try meditation. And that was the last thing I remember from last night. I don't even remember going to bed. I'm not sure if that means that the meditation worked or if I just fell asleep. Or if that's a sign of meditation working.      I really should have closed the windows before going to bed last night because it was really freaking cold this morning. I'm pretty sure that it was 42 degrees (5.6 C) this morning when I woke up. That really got me woken up. But the feet and legs were really burning. Again once I got up and going the burning went away. The burning in my feet and ankles were rather disconcerting along with the weight tracking back up...

Had a bit of a hard time posting this post. Every time I tried to copy/paste into any browser everything froze up until I rebooted the entire computer. Strange. I hope that this isn't something wrong with my computer.  Weight: 333.2 lbs ( 151.1 kg) BMI: 42.8 Waist: 56.5 in ( 143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.3% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Hot Dogs w/Mustard Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of coffee, ~4500ml Water      Had a bit of a hard time getting moving this morning. I did gain consciousness at around 7am, but it took me about an hour to get moving. The weather was a nice cool spring day and the windows were open and nobodies heaters or air conditioners were running and it was really nice and comfy. I live right next to the High School and it's nice when their climate control is off. It is just so quiet when it's not running.      First half of work went really quite smoothly. I was kind of nervous because I was going to be running self checkout for ...

Weight: 340.2 lbs (154.3 kg) BMI: 43.7 Waist: 56.5 (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and fried eggs Lunch: Queso soup Dinner: Pork Steak Drinks: pot of coffee Being down almost four pounds (just under 2 kilos) over a single day is one heck of a way to start the day!      Had a hard time getting to sleep last night. But that might have been the 2L of diet soda I had before bed. I had a headache, it wasn't splitting or overly agonizing. It was just very distracting. As I was flopping around I looked up some of the withdraw symptoms of some of the things I'm trying to quit. And fun fact. Both Alcohol and Carbohydrate withdraw include disrupted sleep and headaches. (A bit unfair that both of the addictions that I wish to fight have so many of the same symptoms) But again I'm not sure if the trouble getting to sleep was various withdraws, or a 2L of soda right before bed. And the headache might have been the withdraws or because of dehydration because the only...

  Weight: 356.8 (161.8 kg) Waist: 56.5 (143.5 cm) Breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Loaded Coffee Lunch: Chili with cheese, Sugar free Rockstar energy Dinner: Baked “Cheddar” Bratwursts Michelob Ultra Infusions Lime and Prickly Pear   Loaded coffee is Coffee with cream, coconut oil, apple cider vinegar, fiber supplement and this Torani sugar free seasoning that I picked up from the store. This time around I picked up the caramel flavor, there are other flavors. I think I'll pick up vanilla next. Carmel isn't bad, but this bottle of flavoring lasts for a really long time. I have thought about picking up a Keurig. The coffee pot that I currently have is a 12 cup pot and I live by myself, so whenever I get in the mood to drink some coffee I'm driven to drink the whole pot of coffee, somehow I don't think that's a good idea. I think that's still better than drinking soda, which I'm still trying to quit. I did feel better today that I have in a while. I'm not...