Weight: 340.8 lbs
(154.6 kg)
BMI: 43.4
Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm)
WtHr: 76.4%
Breakfast: Bacon
and Eggs
Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup
Dinner: Baked
Chicken
Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot,
2800ml water,
Days Without Beer 4
I guess
yesterday's “eyes open jump out of bed was an anomaly. I had
absolutely no “go” this morning. This really was the kind of day
where (when?) I was just kind of waiting for the day to end so I
could just go home. I keep coming back to the idea that I need to get
a “Grown Up Job” I just can't but wonder if I ruined everything
by staying at the store for so long. People tell me that I have a
good work history because I worked at one place for over 20 years.
But now I'm 37 years old with no education, other experiences outside
of working at a grocery store. I've been told that it's never too
late to go back to school and get an education etc. But I barely have
the money or mental energy to work at what I'm doing. IDK maybe it's
just a matter of having “Up” days and “Down” days.
I am proud that I
avoided spending any money today. It seems like a simple thing to
boast about. But working at a grocery store surrounded by the things
that I have addictions to. Seems dramatic, but the other day when I
was getting the stuff to get the recipe video that I was wanting to
be working on it took just as much self control to avoid the Mac and
Cheese as it did to avoid the Beer Cooler. Today as I was leaving for
lunch I walked out of the store and thought, “Should I buy an
energy drink?” But the counter thought to that was I have water at
home. I did think about buying some more Seltzer Water on the way
home this evening, but I'm thinking that the amount of Seltzer that I
drank yesterday was one of the reasons that I'm weighing more today
than I did yesterday. I don't think that anything in the seltzer is making me gain weight, I just think I tried to drink too much at one time so it was more about the volume than the ingredients.
And yes,
happiness isn't a number on the scale, but it did hurt to see the
weight 2.8 lbs higher today than it was yesterday. I'm just trying to
remind myself that the daily fluctuations are normal.
Yeah, short post,
but I can't think of anything else to say.
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