Marks Blog

Weight: 331 lbs (151.8 kg) BMI: 43 Waist: 55 in (137.2 cm) WtHr: 74.3% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Instant Pot Chili with Cottage Cheese Dinner: Baked Bratwursts Drinks: Sugar Free Rockstar Energy Sliver Ice, Kroger Energy Shot, Several Cans of Kroger Seltzer Cranberry Lime and Mandarin Orange Sober Day 3 YMCA: Weights I got the hours and days mixed up in yesterday's post so I was able to get to the YMCA this morning. And I'm wanting to do swimming next week so I spent a few minutes in the weight room I had to struggle with the thought that I was doing everything wrong and I was just wasting time. I tried to use the counter thought of “Doing something is always better than doing nothing” but I really couldn't bring myself to do much in the weight room. I did feel a lot more confident and sure of myself when I was using the treadmill. But then again that's just walking. If I can't figure out how to walk by now I'm going to have a lot of questions with mys

  Weight: 334.6 lbs (151.8 kg) BMI: 43 Waist: 55 in (137.2 cm) WtHr: 74.3% Breakfast: Johnsonville Jalapeno Cheddar Smoked Sausages Lunch: Low Carb Goulash Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Sugar Free Rockstar Energy, Kroger Energy Shot, Several Cans of Kroger Seltzer Cranberry Lime Sober Day 2 YMCA: No It's hard to believe that it's been since February since I've last posted. I was going to start this back up yesterday, but it just became another than a “Mark Whines About Work” Post. I feel like work absorbs enough of my life without me coming home and stewing about the BS. And I doubt anybody wants to read about that. But that does put a heck of a block on what I could write about on a “Daily Blog” Yesterday when I stepped on the scale I was back to where I was, weight wise, at the beginning of the year and I have been kind of concerned about the returning stabbing pain in my feet and how stiff my legs have been lately. I've also been really tired and irritated all da

Weight: 328.8 lbs (149.1 kg) BMI: 42.2 Waist: 54 in (137.2 cm) WtHr: 73% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Nathans Hot Dogs and Cottage Cheese Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Pot of coffee Black, Sugar Free Rockstar Sliver Ice, Kroger Energy Shot, Kroger Seltzer Water Mango x7 Sober Week 2 (Day 15) Had a laugh that might have messed up the measurement of last nights meditative session. I wasn't paying attention to what the voice was saying because they started the session by saying, “Sit up straight in your chair, your head straight up, and let the stress of your day flow down. Let the stress of the day flow down into the part of the chair where your chair is touching your body” And I couldn't help but interpret that as, “Let the stress of the day flow down, let the stress of the day flow down, and out of your ass” The rest of the meditative session was lost to me because I couldn't help but to bust out laughing about the idea of forcing the daily stress out the ass. I think i

W eight: 334.2 lbs (151.6 kg) BMI: 42.9 Waist: 55 in (139.7 cm) WtHr: 74.3% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Mexican Ground Beef and Zucchini with Cottage Cheese Dinner: Pork Steak Drinks: 2x cups of Coffee Black, 500ml Bottled Water x4, Kroger Energy Shot x2, Kroger Seltzer Water Lemon Lime x5 Sober Week 1 (Day 9) Having a hard time the last couple of days getting up and going. Soreness in my lower right back. But it's more mentally struggling. I just couldn't get enough “Go” to go yesterday, but I did feel a considerable difference in the Mental and Physical energy yesterday. People were dumb AF but I'm starting to feel more “UP” on the days that I'm able to work out in the morning. Had Bacon and Eggs for breakfast after I got home from the YMCA. This is a very satisfying habit to get into. But I had used up the last of my bacon this morning and I forgot to pick up more bacon after work this evening. But I do have a Strip Steak in the fridge that I can have breakf

Weight: 337.4 lbs (150.6 kg) BMI: 43.3 Waist: 55.5 in (141 cm) WtHr: 75% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Cuban Picadillo with a handful of shredded cheese Dinner: Chuck “Steak” Drinks: Kroger Seltzer Cranberry Lime x3, Kroger Seltzer Water Mandarin Orange x3, Kroger Seltzer Water Lemon Lime x3, Kroger Energy Shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, 500ml Bottled water x8 Sober Day 2 Vitamins: B12 1000mg (New) Vitamin C 1000mg (New) 2x Vitamin D3 5000IU K2+D3 (D3 5000I K2 100mcg) Fish Oil 1200mg (lol when I first wrote that I wrote “Fish Soil” I don't know what Fish Soil is but I don't think I want any) Magnesium 250 mg Potassium Gluconate Got a bit of inspiration to get serious about my health and other things that I want to be doing. I don't want to go into a whole lot of detail because anything I write on here would just be third level hearsay about someone else's medical issues. But the short of it is that one of my cousins is in the hospital because she wont manage her diabet

Weight: 335.8 lbs (152.3 kg) BMI: 43.1 Waist: 55 in (139.7 cm) WtHr: 74.3% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Stroganoff Casserole Dinner: Queso Soup Drinks: 2000ml water, 2x Kroger Energy Shots, Gatorade Zero Sugar Glacier Cherry, Sugar Free Rockstar Energy Sober Week 1 (Day 8) Was finally able to get to the YMCA. I do have to say using those weight machines were very satisfying. It was also nice to hang out with Mom in an activity that she enjoys so much. It is somewhat of an entertaining thought that my mother is becoming a gym rat. I'm going to have to do some research on how lifting weights effect someone mentally. As I was leaving the gym I was feeling like I was drunk. But by the time I got to work I felt normal PHYSICALLY . But there was something going on with my mind and spirit. Because, WOW people were extra irritating today.  I'm going to make a really long, “Mark Whines About Work Blog” But these are just a few examples of what I had to deal with. These are kind

Weight: 342.4 lbs (155.3 kg) BMI: 43.9 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Johnsonville Jalapeno and Cheddar Smoked Sausages Dinner: Chuck “Steak” Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, Sugar Free Rockstar Silver Ice Sober Day 4 I have been slipping on this. And the days have been kind of mushing together again. My left foot really has not been happy. I know that I haven't been very good on my diet, but the shoes that I have now I have had for several months now and I think I'm due for a new pair.  Everyday when I wake up I tell myself, “Today, TODAY is the day that I'm going to get back onto the diet and plans” and then I start the day, and then, “well maybe tomorrow will be the day that I get back to it.” And then yesterday Mom shared a message saying that one of my cousins is in the hospital with Diabetic Ketoacidosis. This kinda tells me that I really need to get back into the diet. Cousin has had diabetes for a while no

Weight: 340.6 lbs (154.5 kg) BMI: 43.7 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Burger King Eggnormous Burrito Meal Lunch: Stroganoff Casserole Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: Couple cans of Kroger Seltzer Watermelon, Kroger Energy Shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, 900 ml water Sober Day 2 All morning I keep opening up tabs and closing them again. I really do want to avoid Social Media, but that's going to be a hard habit to break. Trucker Roommate was able to collect on some rather large boxes of Kit-Kat candy bars. Not exactly something I could have on my diet, but I decided that my sister's kids would like some candy. Not the most Ketogenic breakfast, but was on the way home from sister's house and didn't have time to cook properly. I did take my vitamins this morning, but didn't get a chance to get in any coffee and did feel that for the first half of work. Really felt worthless all day at work. Another day where I feel like I'm just waiting for the da

Weight: 335.8 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 43.1 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili Turkey Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, Kroger Seltzer Water Cranberry Lime Weeks Sober 2 (Day 20) I did a bit of re-tweaking to the 2023 and 2024 weight loss tracking spreadsheets before work. For the 2023 spreadsheet I had the wrong number for the BMI goal. It was only off by 2.3 so not a big change and for the 2024 Spreadsheet I was going to change the Waist to Height Ratio tracking to Waist to Hip Ratio, but I've been doing Waist to Height Ratio for so long I think changing what WtHR means would just cause confusion. It's kind of unfortunate that both Height and Hip both start with the letter “H” otherwise it wouldn't be a big deal. Oh well, that just changes a thing that I was going to change back to the thing that I was already doing. And I'm very grateful for the “Find/Replace” tool on Open Office it

Weight: 338.4 lbs (153.5 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Stroganoff Casserole Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, Kroger Seltzer Water Cranberry Lime Weeks Sober 2 (Day 19) Last night the meditation was kind of strange. I was able to meditate without falling asleep just fine, and I did feel calm after the breathing session, but the “Stress” tracker on my watch said that the level of stress that I was experiencing had gone up instead of down like in previous sessions. I did fall asleep quite easily last night. Strangely the app said that I didn't get to sleep until 2:30 this morning, even though I went to bed closer to midnight. That first doctors appointment when the doctor asked me how well I usually sleep I asked him how much he trusted smartwatches to track sleep, and he seemed to think that they are pretty accurate. Bit of a hard time getting going this morning.

Weight: 338.8 lbs (153.7 kg) BMI: 43.5 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Taco Salad Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, Rockstar Pure Zero Silver Ice, Kroger Seltzer Water Watermelon, Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober 2 (Day 18) I guess that Queso Soup is bad for weight loss lol, I shouldn't worry about a daily fluctuation, but being up by four pounds in a single day is unfortunate. But considering that the waist hasn't gone up I'm just assuming that I'm just sitting on the food I ate yesterday (Tuesday). I got an email that showed the data of Yesterday's DXA scan. I got to say I DO NOT like the green blob of me laying there. I do have to say that I was surprised of the amount of fat that is in my legs. I knew that I had a serious gut that I had to work on, but I has always assumed that my legs were all muscle as I walk around all day almost every day. And my thighs have always been

Tootn' Chili Weight: 339.0 lbs (153.8 kg) BMI: 43.5 Waist: 57.0 in (144.8 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili Beef Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: Pot of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, 900ml water, Several cans of Kroger Seltzer Water Strawberry Lemonade Weeks Sober 1 (Day 13) As I was going to bed last night I got a notification on my phone that led to a meditation guidance thing. Which I really appreciate because I've looked up how to meditate before and a lot of them just seem to say, “Okay, just sit there and meditate” what does that mean? Well you sit there and meditate. How do you do that? Well, you just meditate. But last night there was a voice over that encouraged a breathing exercise? Regimen? Session? (I like session, I'll use that one) While reminding me to just focus on the breathing and not allowing the mind to wonder. It said to sit straight up and relaxed, but I did it laying flat in the bed with my arms to my side. I'm

Weight: 340.8 lbs (154.6 kg) BMI: 43.8 Waist: 57.0 in (144.8 cm) WtHr: 77.0% Breakfast: Sausage Patties and Eggs Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Couple cups of Coffee black, Kroger Energy Shot, 900ml water Weeks Sober 1 (Day 12) Stayed up WAY too late last night trying to write a blog post. So I naturally slept in WAY too late. I had time to cook breakfast, but didn't do much else. Doctor says that getting up in the morning to try to get out into the sun is a good way to stave off the seasonal depression and I do have a small patio outside of my apartment so I have been thinking about buying a small table and putting a chair out there so that I can eat breakfast out on the patio and absorb some of the morning sun. But of course if I'm going to do that I'm going to have to start waking up in the morning. And as I'm writing this first part I'm needing to run out of the door three minutes ago. I was feeling alright before I left for work,

Weight: 338.0 lbs (153.3 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.0 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Lazy White Lasagna Dinner: Queso Soup Drinks: most of a pot of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Mango Weeks Sober: 1 (11 Days) Can't seem to find the thought power to write anything in the last couple of days. And today would be really easy to make it a “Mark Whines About Work” blog. I had a lot of interactions that would have made good additions to the To Do list on Store Stories, but a lot of them were things that are already on there, the strange thing is that the list I've compiled over a decade or two is having so many examples in this last week or so. It's also strange that so many people are so Goddamned pissy. Which leads to the question as to if it's everybody around me or is it me projecting on everybody around me. Usually when I drop off on posting on the blog it means that I've fallen off the wagon again, but

Weight: 338.2 lbs ( 153.4 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Tootn' Chili (Turkey) Dinner: Strip Steak Drinks: couple cups of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar, 2700ml water Days Without Beer 6 Was very excited this morning. This was the second month in a row where I didn't have any fees in my savings account and was able to pay all of the months bills on the first of the month. The fees that I have to worry about in the savings account are if you make more than two transfers out of the savings account online you are charged a dollar for every transfer (transfers you do at the bank in person don't count towards the fee). The other fee is that if your savings account ever gets under $100 in the month they'll charge you $3. One of my long time goals is to have all of the bills for the month paid on the first of each month. It is just so unbelievably satisfying to have all of the things paid off

Weight: 339.6 lbs ( 154.0 kg) BMI: 43.6 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Pepperoni and Mozzarella Rolls with ranch dressing Dinner: Keto “Hamburger Helper” Drinks: pot of coffee with cream, Kroger Energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar 12pk Kroger Seltzer Water Lemon Days Without Beer 5 Woke up with what felt like a hangover. Headache, stiff neck and muscles, foggy head. “Dr Google” says that “Phantom Hangovers” can happen days to months after quitting drinking. Then again it might just be that I need to buy a new pillow, the one I have now is quite old. Not quite as down today as I was yesterday. But still a little slow this morning. Wasn't looking forward to going to work. I am seriously getting tired of working with these “children” and everyday is just waiting for the day to get over with. Today was better emotionally for me than yesterday was, but going to work just feels so empty. Roommate is home this week. He was telling me about his ne

Weight: 340.8 lbs (154.6 kg) BMI: 43.4 Waist: 56.5 in (143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Chicken Enchilada Soup Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream, Kroger Energy Shot, 2800ml water, Days Without Beer 4 I guess yesterday's “eyes open jump out of bed was an anomaly. I had absolutely no “go” this morning. This really was the kind of day where (when?) I was just kind of waiting for the day to end so I could just go home. I keep coming back to the idea that I need to get a “Grown Up Job” I just can't but wonder if I ruined everything by staying at the store for so long. People tell me that I have a good work history because I worked at one place for over 20 years. But now I'm 37 years old with no education, other experiences outside of working at a grocery store. I've been told that it's never too late to go back to school and get an education etc. But I barely have the money or mental energy to work at what I'm doing. IDK m

Weight: 342.8 lbs (156.9 kg) BMI: 44 Waist: 57.0 in (147.3 cm) WtHr: 77% Breakfast: X Lunch: Cottage Cheese with chicken bits and ham left over from the super salad from the other day Dinner: Baked Chicken Drinks: Sugar Free Rockstar, Kroger Energy Shot, 2L Big K Caffeine Free Diet Cola Days Without Beer 2 Going to be a short post not because the “down” I've been feeling lately. I've actually started feeling better after work this evening. I'm not sure if the feeling better is just the alcohol from last week's beer wearing off or what. But this is going to be a short post because I had to put so much creative energy into the weight loss video that I just made and the only thing that I would do is just repeat what I put into that video. That and the computer has been acting a bit wonky today. So it's getting pretty close to midnight and I want this to be a daily blog. I had recorded the Weigh In Vlog this morning, but it recorded from the wrong microphone so I ha

Weight: 341.2 lbs (154.8kg) BMI: 43.8 Waist: 57.0 in (147.3 cm) WtHr: 77% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Southwest Style Detox Soup Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Coffee with cream, Sugar Free Rockstar, Kroger Energy Shot Days Without Beer 1      Hangovers suck. Woke up today with a desire to get going, but brain was throbbing in my head. And the in the concept of “Mind, Spirit, and body” In my mind I was wanting to get going, but in my body my brain was throbbing, and by shins and ankles hurt, and spiritually I just feel...flat for a lack of a better term. Is this what depression is? I woke up with a lot of mental energy, but low emotional and physical energy. The physical energy kind of built up as I got moving around, but the emotional energy just makes me want to lay down. I am kind of curious as to how depression is treated, as I think I've mentioned before, do they just hand you a “Happy pill” and tell you, “Have fun and good luck?” or is there more to it than that?      Ano