Marks Blog

Weight: 337 lbs ( 152.8 kg) BMI: 43.3 Waist: 54 in (137.2 cm) WtHr: 73% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Taco Chili Tortilla Chips Snack: Tortilla Chips Dinner: Smithfield Pork Loin Garlic Herb Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Sugar Free Monster, Sober Month 9 (Day 294) Another day that wasn't very productive. I just couldn't get myself to do anything. I felt bad because I was sitting around not doing anything, but I couldn't think of anything to do. I didn't think that I would ever say this, but I was getting bored of watching videos online. I just sat here playing games on my phone. I'm sure that on Sunday when I go back to work I'll think of all of the stuff that I could have been doing this week. A little nervous that the rent check still hasn't gone through. But this isn't the latest that it has ever floated. And it is kind of handy to have another paycheck come through before it cleared. But it would be nice if it would like to come ...

Weight: 336.8 lbs ( 152.8 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Cottage Cheese Bar-S Hot Dogs Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Salted Coffee, Kroger Seltzer, Powerade Zero Orange, Arizona Diet Lemonade Tea Keto Week 2 (Day 17) Sober Month 2 (Day 78) I'm sure that I'm not bound by HIPAA or anything but I'm sure that Roommate would rather I didn't share all of his personal medical and employment information here. But the short of it is that he isn't going to go back to work in April. I could go into a long tirade of my frustrations there. But it seems self centered and it would be talking about his personal issues. I can't help but think that I'm going to have to re-balance a lot of things. I'm running really low on gas again so I decided to have lunch at the store. Tomorrow is payday so I was running really low on money in my checking account. I have money in my savings accounts but I don't want to get into...

Weight: 336.8 lbs ( 152.8 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 55.5 in (141 cm) WtHr: 75% Breakfast: Bacon and eggs Lunch: Deconstructed Pizza Casserole Dinner: Slow Cooked Chuck Roast with Mushroom Gravy Drinks: Quite a few cans of Seltzer water of various flavors Weeks Sober 3 (Day 24) I didn't do much before the Doctor's appointment. I was kind of afraid of eating too much or drinking any coffee because of the effect that the food would have on the scale, or the caffeine in the coffee on the blood pressure. These factors are why I'd prefer to have appointments and meetings in the morning if I could. Not that I have had a whole lot of doctors appointments, but even when I work later in the afternoon, I spend the entire day counting down how much time I have until I have to go into work or that meeting. The bacon I had for breakfast was the bacon that Stepdad was kind enough to donate to me the other day. When he gave it to me he said that it wasn't very good quality, I thought he...

Weight: 336.8 lbs (152.8 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56 in (142.2 cm) WtHr: 75.7% Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs Lunch: Southwest Detox Chicken Soup Dinner: Bratwursts Drinks: Pot of Coffee, Kroger energy shot, Sugar Free Rockstar Energy Days Without Beer 7      I went to bed early last night. The store closed at 5 last night because of Thanksgiving. And when I got home I just kind of shut down. I really couldn't write anything on the blog or work on any of the many things I want to be working on. An idea that I came up with was because I got off early and mind and body was just feeling like “hey, it's the end of the day were done now” even though I got off early and had a short day. The counter to that thought is on a normal day I do most of the writing on these blog posts after work (writing this first part before work though). The other thought it is probably Holiday Depression. I did feel like I was missing out on something, which is odd because my family going to have the fam...

Weight: 336.8 lbs ( 152.8 kg) BMI: 43.2 Waist: 56.5 in ( 143.5 cm) WtHr: 76.4% Breakfast: Sausage and Eggs Lunch: China Star Buffet Dinner: Spinach Artichoke Chicken Casserole      Today was my birthday, and I woke up with the thought hey that's 37 years wasted, will I get another 37? I admit that isn't a very productive thought, but I just couldn't shake it. I know that the “mid-life crisis” isn't supposed to be the exact middle of your life. But I'm not very confident that I'll make it to 74. I'm not expecting or planing anything, but I have not been taking very good care of myself. I wasn't going to say, “Lately” at the end of that sentence, but I don't know if I ever took very good care of myself. Mom introduced me to a book labeled "Fear the Fear, and do it anyway" I don't feel that I've been struggling with the "fear" of doing anything. But perhaps the reason I haven't been as successful on YouTube as I've...