Weight:
338.4lbs (153.5kg)
BMI: 43.4
Waist: 58.5 in (148.6 cm)
WtHr:
79.1%
Breakfast: Bacon
and Eggs
Snack: Sardines
Lunch: Pork Steak
Dinner: Cheesy
Ramen
Drinks: Pot of Coffee with cream
Canned
Soda:
Diet Dr Pepper: 5
Diet
Mt Dew: 5
Diet
Pepsi: 5
Pepsi
Zero: 5
Days Without Beer: 4
Slept
considerably better last night than I did the previous night. Which is
interesting because of how many caffeinated drinks I had yesterday.
Had stayed up a lot later because I was watching Radio Dead Air. He usually streams on Monday night, but he wasn't feeling well so he decided to stream on Tuesday. I will try to go to bed earlier tonight.
Holy beans I woke
up with ALL KINDS OF ENERGY today. A bit annoyed that it was 10am by
the time I got up and going. And I'm not sure if it was the sleep
quality (the health app showed that I got quite a bit of “Deep
Sleep”), the Ketosis kicking in, or if it was when I stood on the
scale and it showed that I was back to where I was at the end of
September. (October hasn't been very great for the weight loss goals) but I was literally dancing around the place.
Going to the clinic's website to try to figure out how to set up an
appointment had a chilling effect though. (new things are scary) There was a place on that sight that you could set up an appointment, but I'm not sure how to fill it all out, however there was another section where there was a place to fill out to contact them. I'm starting a rough draft of an email to contact them to ask how to fill out the appointment form and what information I'll need to have when I do get a doctor. But I had some serious
scatterbrain today. Not sure if that's because of the sobriety, Keto, "Well Rested" status, or the caffeine I've been drinking all day. But I'm having a
hard time setting on doing one thing. I'm bouncing from trying to
clean house, to trying to get courage to write the email to the
clinic, and writing on this. If I do get around to getting an
appointment I should bring up the possibility of ADHD.
Breakfast wasn't very exciting, just some bacon and eggs. Overcooked the eggs a bit.
Had a bit of a snack before lunch. I vary rarely have snacks, but yesterday when I did grocery shopping I picked up a can of sardines for an idea for a reaction video, but I didn't have much of a reaction to the fish. The initial hit was just kind of a sharp tuna, the problem was the aftertaste that lingered...and lingered...and lingered. And had fishy burps for the rest of the day and evening. I didn't make a video of it because it would have been kind of a boring one. And there's WAY too much drama around boring YouTube Reaction Videos recently.
Lunch was a grilled pork steak. Ate that while watching a Dr Berry live stream. I didn't do anything special with it except for the regular seasonings.
I'll admit that my dinner wasn't very ketogenic (I'll diet tomorrow), but hey I only have three packs of ramen left and there shouldn't be too much trouble with having a pack of ramen once a week or so. I don't plan on buying any more when I'm done with those last three though.
When I went to
bed last night I had a thought of what scared my mom so much about
these posts, (other than the fact that I'm very morbidly obese and I
haven't seen a doctor since middle school) On Monday I mentioned that
I couldn't come up with a reason to get out of bed early. So I went
back to sleep. Now if I didn't write that out very well and someone
who is concerned about me reads that I am having a hard time
convincing myself that I have to come up with a reason to get out of
bed in the morning could see that as something as something quite
concerning. But what I was saying was that I was having a hard time
convincing myself to wake up 4 or 5 hours earlier than normal. I did
wake up earlier than I normally do on Monday. And when I did wake up
properly I was able to get up just fine, I did have a bit of a
struggle with momentum to get going, but not in a way that seemed to
be an existential battle, but in a body was still asleep way.
The
other thought I think she might have been worried about was the
“mental debate” that I wrote about between the “Angel” and
the “Demon”. I hope she didn't think that I was actually hearing
a demonic voice telling me to buy beer. Or actually seeing an angelic
being waving a red flag. I'm not going to say who, but a while back
we had a close family member who had to spend time in a hospital
because of a condition that caused auditory and visual
hallucinations. I do believe she is recovered now, but it was scary
for us all and I would hate for Mom to think that I was struggling
with something similar. The counter thought of that point would be
that my mother isn't an idiot and she is a writer so she should know
what a metaphor is. The question is if I wrote it out in a way that
would be understood.
Also she might be doing the same research I am
and there's a lot of sites that say cold turkey can be dangerous. But
that's the only way for me to do anything. I'm either doing it, or
I'm not. There's not a whole lot of in between on that when I do
things. But I've seen on a lot of sites that suddenly quitting alcohol can worsen mental issues, and cause physical issues. But I haven't noticed any physical issues (and I've been watching for them) and I'm a lot more mentally "up" than I've been in a while.
The main thing just might just be that she's my loving mother and I'm very not healthy right now.
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