Weight: 328.8 lbs
(149.1 kg)
BMI: 42.2
Waist: 54 in (137.2 cm)
WtHr: 73%
Breakfast: Bacon
and Eggs
Lunch: Nathans Hot Dogs and Cottage Cheese
Dinner: Bratwursts
Drinks: Pot of coffee Black, Sugar
Free Rockstar Sliver Ice, Kroger Energy Shot, Kroger Seltzer Water
Mango x7
Sober Week 2 (Day 15)
Had a laugh that
might have messed up the measurement of last nights meditative
session. I wasn't paying attention to what the voice was saying
because they started the session by saying, “Sit up straight in
your chair, your head straight up, and let the stress of your day
flow down. Let the stress of the day flow down into the part of the
chair where your chair is touching your body” And I couldn't help
but interpret that as, “Let the stress of the day flow down, let
the stress of the day flow down, and out of your ass” The rest of
the meditative session was lost to me because I couldn't help but to
bust out laughing about the idea of forcing the daily stress out the
ass. I think if I need something to laugh at for a while I'll be
thinking about trying to force my stress out...through my ass. And
then the voice said to take a deep breath to breathe in the
environment around me. And I was done, just couldn't stop laughing
Despite that
distraction I did fall asleep really quite quickly. I didn't get
around to posting the blog post because I forced myself to step away
from the computer about an hour or two before I went to bed. I have
heard from many sources that getting away from the computer and
reading a book is a good way to get to sleep.
I found a copy of
J.R.R Tolkien's book “The Children of Húrin”
It is amazing that someone could write a book (Lord of the Rings)
with such a rich world history that full novels can be written in
that world. These novels aren't fan fictions or anything like that, they're actual cannon stories in that world. I think I'm going to have a hard time reading this book
though. The Preface was talking about the various characters in the
book and I am horrible with remembering names and there's characters
named, Húrin, Turin, Beren, Morwen, and others among the people of
the Noldor, Vanyar, and with lands called Mordor and more I can kind
of see why I found my book mark halfway through just the preface. It
seems kind of intimidating. I skipped over the “pronunciation
guide.” I don't see myself ever saying these names aloud. Professor
Tolkien is a hell of a writer, but I'm not sure if this is supposed
to be a book to help someone fall asleep.
Was slow getting
going this morning. Mentally motivated, physically desiring to go
(back was hesitant) but emotionally I couldn't help but thinking that
I'm just wasting my time by bothering to get going. My back as been stiff
and sore all week long and I don't really swim in any sustained
organized stroke. So the bad thought is, “I'm just hurting myself
in the weight room and wasting time splashing around in the pool.”
Yesterday Mom and I joined into an aqua aerobics class. I have no
idea if I did any of the movements that the teacher was telling the
class to do. The teacher kept asking me if I could see what she was
doing. I don't have my glasses on in the pool. I don't see anything.
Mom reassured me that "If you're moving, your moving correctly."
Going over that last paragraph it kind of seems like a downer post. Something that really is a
“down” is my scale. I'm down 6.2 lbs for the week, 9 lbs for the
month, and 9.8 pounds for the year so far. That's down 1.3 off of my
BMI for the year. And I'm starting to finally starting to make
progress on my waist. Down to 54 inches. That's down three inches
from the middle of last month. I think that is going to be my counter
to any thought that I'm just wasting time my going to the Y.
I've had a sore throat and coughing up gunk over the last day or two. I'm not sure if that's because of the time I've spent in the pool, or because of the time of year. Chlorine is famous for messing up your respiratory system, and I have a history of pretty rough seasonal allergies. Although my seasonal allergies are usually just a runny nose. More than one person asked me if I was sick as I was sounding really gravely when I got to work. My voice got better as the day went on.
After I was done at the YMCA I got a haircut. It's always kind of funny when I get a haircut. I like to keep my hair buzzed short. But I always wait way too long to get a haircut. And the stylist always asks me over and over if was sure that I want to have it cut that short. Because she "can't put it back on if you change your mind"
I worked a bit later than I normally so I had a chance to work on this before I had to go to work. And I was driving to work I was thinking of the hundreds of things I wanted to say. I've been wanting to use the "Notes" app on on my phone to take notes over the day to write on here. But writing notes on my phone while driving does sound like a bad combination. So I was going to make the notes when I got to work. But all of the ideas flew out of my ear as soon as I walked into the building. And during the day every time I got an idea to write down people would start shouting my name like they were trying to imitate a hair lipped dog. And every single baby coming through the store seemed to be SCREAMING THEIR HEAD OFF! And whenever the babies stopped screaming their siblings or their parents would irritate them into screaming. There was one kid (probably about 5 or so) shoving their stuffed animal dog into the face of an infant while an adult was literally SWINGING AROUND their baby while their baby was screaming in horror. And that was just two examples of the six hours of everything under three foot tall screaming their heads off. I am wondering if we're expecting a change in the weather or something. Most of the adults were in rather good and understanding moods. If they would just get their children to stop screaming. I really shouldn't judge, I'm not a parent. But I was really wanting to have a word with the guy swinging his baby around by their arms in the middle of the self checkout in the middle of the evening rush.
I had a shorter than normal shift at work so I had a shorter than normal "lunch" so I wasn't able to run home to have any of my saved foods. So I picked up some Nathan's Hot Dogs and some cottage cheese. The hot dogs were really quite expensive, but they seemed to be the only hot dogs that didn't have any high fructose corn syrup, which is definitely something that I am trying to avoid. I really shouldn't have gotten the cottage cheese it was a bit too much to have both the cottage cheese and the full pack of hot dogs. The discomfort didn't last long, but I came back from lunch with an overfilled belly and what sounded like a hundred people screaming at me in a hundred different directions.
Another odd moment was when the evening rush was winding down a guy coming through my line was smelling really quite rough. I've learned to not breath too heavily when some people come through my line. So, yeah, shallow breaths. I'm not going to call people out on it because, well that's rude. But after I helped him the guy next in line kept asking me if I recognized the smell off of the previous guy. I was really kind of shocked at the question. The second guy kept insisting that he recognized the smell, but couldn't place it. The first guy had a logo on his shirt of a local chemical manufacturer. But still, you're going to be a lot happier if you're not going around sniffing on people.
I will be honest after work I did stare at the beer cooler as I was leaving the store. But the thought of being down nearly 10 pounds in a month and a half and reminding myself of my cousin in the hospital because she refuses to take her diabetes seriously turned me away from that thought. Even though I was doing the math on the amount of carbs in the "low carb" beer brand as I walked past a display. I picked up a case of the Seltzer Water. Sure I could have walked out of the store without buying anything, but the bubbles in the seltzer water helps with the quitting the beer. Drinking Tap Water just doesn't have the same physics.
On the way home I wasn't really hungry. I told myself for a while that I really wasn't hungry for a couple of hours. But I just couldn't shake the idea of, "I didn't eat dinner yet, hey I haven't eaten yet. When am I going to eat dinner?" I've heard the many different benefits to intermittent fasting, but I can't shake the habit of three meals a day.
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